The movie version of The Grinch illustrates how someone can form the destructive mindset and be caught up with the idea that relationships are only about survival. Gift giving becomes a competition. Who gives the best gifts? Who gets the best gifts? Who has the best display? Of course the marketplace thrives with this mindset. Get the best deals here! Say you love her with diamonds! You know he wants all the bells and whistles! Even the Mayor of Whoville tries to entice the girl with a big rock and a car. Is this what life is all about? Is it about survival? Is life about stuff? Is the “winner” the one with the best toys, who can “buy” the coveted relationship?
Fortunately, there are those in the story who search for more “substance.” But the substance we are talking about doesn’t come from a store, so there is no marketplace for the real meat. Relationships can be adversarial, or of mutual advocacy. The Grinch is caught up in a destructive adversarial mindset, and believes Christmas is about vengeance. Then he relents and suggests Christmas is about presents. Cindy-Lou, however, is already caught up in a world that believes Christmas is about presents, but, as we have seen, when giving and receiving presents is viewed within the destructive mindset of survival, the idea falls short of the mark.
What the Grinch discovers, and what Cindy-Lou espouses, is that we have so much to give when there doesn’t seem to be anything to give. What we can give is love, affirmation, and acceptance. This is the relationship of advocacy that is unconditional, constructive, and stands the test of time. Cindy-Lou’s father grasps this concept and stands up to the Mayor in defence of his daughter and his family. Everyone understands. And so does the Grinch. Christmas is not about presents; rather it is about giving. Giving love, affirmation, and acceptance. Certainly giving gifts are a way to affirm someone, but there are other ways which are not necessarily marketable, and so we do not hear of them through the media.
When “love” is about survival, then it is subjected to measurement, conditions, and scrutiny. The “love” becomes more of loving oneself at the expense of others. Constructive love involves loving others as well as the self, some of what we get a flavour of in The Grinch movie. Enjoy the following scene from the movie as found on You Tube. Please make note that it is okay to feel emotions.