This month, Dr. Sinn’s Bin is Qui-Gon Jinn’s Bin. In Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace, which is soon to be released in 3D format, Qui-Gon Jinn meets young Anakin Skywalker, and is certain that Anakin is “the chosen one.” Qui-Gon presents Anakin to the Jedi Council for affirmation, but is denied the freedom to train Anakin in the Jedi arts. As Qui-Gon explains to Anakin the decision of the Council, he advises:
“I want you to watch me, and be mindful. Always remember, your focus determines your reality.”
The advice to Anakin has to do with relationship. People have a social/relational dimension, which means that we understand our world in the context of relationship. What we focus on becomes the object with which we form our primary relationship. Other objects in our sphere of awareness are related with in the context of our primary relationship, in other words, we relate with them secondarily. Our primary focus determines our reality.
An example is illustrated in the difference between forming a destructive versus a constructive mindset, which is also the difference between relating to people according to their disposition versus according to the situation. When there is a problem and we form the destructive mindset, our focus and reality is about the “bad” person. We form what is called in social psychology terms, the fundamental attribution error. Our reality is that the person is the problem and we deal with the problem by confronting the person in a power-based “me versus you” attitude. Our self-esteem may be affected if we relate with ourselves as if we are the “bad person.”
Conversely, when there is a problem and we form the constructive mindset, our focus and reality is on the injustice of the situation. We relate to the person responsible in the context of the injustice, and deal with the problem with a collaborative approach. When our relationship with ourselves is constructive, we maintain a sense of self-respect and self-esteem when dealing with our problems.
When you arrive home and find out that your teenager has not taken care of washing the dishes, is your focus on your “lazy” teenager who has not done the dishes, or on the fact that the dishes are still dirty, and you are wondering what your teenager has planned to take responsibility for cleaning them. Your focus determines your reality.
The trailer for Star Wars Episode I 3D can be accessed by clicking on our Facebook link at the top of this screen.